Fish?

[x_icarus]

I realize this tank must have been sitting in the room for some time and I havn't even noticed up until now. I know something is living inside, but it hasn't emerged from where ever its hiding. So, what is it, and does it bite?

Comments

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

You seriously had to post to ask that? Don't be mean to Eddie or he'll get snappy. You're such a bad roommate to him. No, he doesn't bite, he pinches. And, uh, just pointing out the obvious here...fish need lots more water than is in there.

[x-icarus.livejournal.com]

I don't know where you are half the time.

Eddie? You named it? Did you lose your sense of smell when you got your mutation because he stinks.

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

I'm around. It's not like I don't ever come back, it wouldn't be that hard to find me.

You can't just have him be nameless, that's not right. And he's a crab so he smells like a crab.

[x-icarus.livejournal.com]

I was thinking mutant fish. But a crab? What are you going to do with a crab? Never mind. What do they even eat?

And he does smell, so how are you gonna clean him/It? You know if its a girl, she's moving out pronto. Sushi for breakfast. Are you sure its a male?

[x-kaminari.livejournal.com]

~Translated from Japanese~

Now I want sushi. Shit. Crystal, where did you get the sushi you brought me before? I mean, I can make sushi ok, but I don't think Kevin would like me to eat his pet. Besides, sushi is not really breakfast food. But I could make an omu-raisu, that would be delicious.

And why do you have a crab for a pet, Kevin? It's very strange. Not really cute, crabs. I wonder if I could get you Kitty-chan in a crab suit for an omiyage on the trip to Tokyo this winter. I think it is one of Hokkaido's Kitty-chans, but they will have it at Narita, I think. Would you like that?

And crab does not smell. Don't be stupid.

~Translated from Japanese~

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

I really would not appreciate it if you ate Eddie. He's not a pet, he's the roommate to annoy my other roommate, apparently.

I have a pet crab because Mr. Dayspring gave him to me and he doesn't require me to do things that will either result in him dying or being extremely neglectful. I'm not entirely sure what half of that meant, actually, even in English but I think you're talking about Hello Kitty in a crab suit, right? That'd be...um...I'm not sure. I guess it'd be nice of you to think to do that and go out of your way to get me something so I certainly wouldn't dislike her. She could keep Eddie company when he wanders around my bed.

Maybe Jay just has a sensitive nose. Molting boy should not belittle Eddie.

[x-kaminari.livejournal.com]

~Translated from Japanese~

He's your roommate? Oh, so the molting boy is not joking that he's a mutant? That's really weird. What kind of mutant power can a crab have? Does he fly? If he flew, that would be the coolest thing ever. And I don't think I would really want to eat a flying crab.

And why is the molting boy a molting boy? I'm really impresssed with this computer program, through, cause I didn't even know that word, let alone recognize all the kanji. Stll, if my dictionary is right, that means he's losing feathers, yeah? That's just too strange.

And I think I would like to find you a Kitty-chan in a crab suit. Do you have a cell phone? But if you want it to keep Eddie company maybe a charm is too small. I don't know if I could get you one of the really big ones. Except there's a Sanrio store in Tokyo, I've heard. I never went there, but I bet I could find it, and they would have a stuffed Kitty. That's all plastic, too, I think, so maybe it's ok. Your mutation is crazy obnoxious.

~Translated from Japanese~

[x-icarus.livejournal.com]

And I'm not 'molting boy'. Please don't call me that. It's a once in a life time occurance. Not a desease.

Crabs do smell. This crab does. If he didn't, then I probably wouldn't have noticed it was in the room at all.

[x-kaminari.livejournal.com]

~Translated from Japanese~

How do you know it's a once in a lifetime thing? I mean, you must not have done it before or you wouldn't say it, but maybe it's just happening for the first time and will happen again? Also, where are you molting? Cause, if the picture is you then you're not feathered. Unless you have, like, tengu legs or something. Or a bird butt? Is your ass feathered? That would be pretty random, I guess, but maybe it's not the weirdest mutation ever. I wonder what that would be? The weirdest mutation. Actually, having a feathered ass would be up there, I think. But I've not met that many mutants.

~Translated from Japanese~

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

Sorry, I'm kidding when I call him my roommate. That was Mr. Dayspring's words and it sort of stuck with me.

I'm pretty impressed with your program too just because we can understand more than four word sentences from each other.

Yes, actually "crazy obnoxious" is a pretty damn good way of describing my mutation. And to think, you're just trying to shop. It doesn't have to be plastic, it just can't be organic. So synthetic stuff is okay, hence why I am not forced to wear plastic/latex/pvc clothing all the time. I do have a cell phone.

[x-kaminari.livejournal.com]

~Translated from Japanese~

I've met Mr. Dayspring. His daughter's really cute, but he's strange, so I'm not surprised that he said your crab was your roommate. But maybe it is really a mutant crab and Dayspring is hiding it by pretending it's all a joke that the crab is your roommate? Maybe at night it crawls out of its tank and goes out to save the world like Doraemon. I mean, a mutant crab is no stranger an idea than a robot cat from the future.

Does your cell phone have a space for a phone charm? The phone they gave me doesn't, but it's a weird phone so I don't kill it super fast. Even so, I have to charge it all the damn time which is completely obnoxious.

And the translation program's pretty cool, but I told you about it - this is how I knew who you were.

~Translated from Japanese~

[x-wallflower-.livejournal.com]

I'm almost positive that we can get fresh seafood somewhere around here with which to make sushi. It's not something I've learnt to make yet, so if you'd be willing to show me how, that would be great. We could look for some while we're in New York next if you'd like.

[x-kaminari.livejournal.com]

~Translated from Japanese~

Yeah, I guess maybe I could teach you to make sushi, if you can find fresh fish.

Since when are you trying to be nice to me?

~Translated from Japanese~

[x-polarisstar.livejournal.com]

There is both the possibility of making good sushi and going to get good sushi. It won't be quite like home but we do our best.

[x-kaminari.livejournal.com]

~Translated from Japanese~

Wait, do you know how to make sushi, too? What about takoyaki? It's festival time and I want some. Or awashi-yaki.

I want to go home.

~Translated from Japanese~

[x-wallflower-.livejournal.com]

Because you're helping me learn Japanese and it's never good to be rude to the person teaching you a foreign language? Plus you stopped following me so closely that I'd bump into you every time I turned around, which deserves a little niceness.

However, should you wish it different, I'm sure I can take out my irritation with English classes on you if that would help.

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

There are mutant fish? He eats sinking crab food, fish food meant for scavengers, and freeze dried plankton and shrimp.

You don't clean him and if you try to give Eddie a bath I'm going to give you a shirtless hug. Eddie's a guy, the big claw means he's a guy. And if you turn him into sushi I don't think Mr. Dayspring will be very happy with you.

[x-icarus.livejournal.com]

This is the first time the threat of a hug from a guy will keep me away. I'll just drop eddie in the toilet and flush. Instant bath. I reckon he'll like it. Maybe he'll put in for an immediate transfer to someone else's room.

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

Are you always a complete dick for no reason?

[x-icarus.livejournal.com]

Im not even trying here. Kev, you take things too seriously.

Are you?

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

Maybe you should try thinking about why Mr. Dayspring would give me crab. Tact and some higher brain function would go a long way right now.

No, but you are clearly special and unlocking lesser used facets of my personality currently.

[x-cable.livejournal.com]

Let me guess, Guthrie - you weren't a pet person as a child.

[x-icarus.livejournal.com]

Completely opposite. I'm just not a crab person.

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

For fuck's sake! a) The crab doesn't smell any worse then .. wait, you weren't here for the Spammy Invasion. Nevermind. But the crab doesn't stink that much. If I say the crab doesn't smell, nobody else gets to say it does.

And if it bugs you that much get one of those ion air cleaner things, or a baking soda box. Both work, because I totally use both for Shamu's cat box.

Oh, yeah, I got a cat. He's awesome.

Lesee. Whatelse. Yes, you do so molt.

Also? Jesus F. Christ, did you leave all your tact in Kentucky with Sam? WTF, Dude?

[x-icarus.livejournal.com]

This must offically be Hate On Jay Day.

Take a walk in our room. It does smell. I can't believe Im getting triple teamed for this. And I can't believe you have a cat.

i don't know what tact has to do with asking what was in our room. I see my roommate almost as much as I see you.